Author: Dave Garrett

The Work of Staying in Love

The Work of Staying in Love

Falling in love is one thing. Staying in love is a completely different animal. I am in no way a relationship expert, but can we agree that falling in love is beginning to carve out space for someone in your life while staying in love is a choice to continually carve out more and more space for that person.

Think back to when you first fell in love. You felt an infatuation for that person. Maybe butterflies fluttered in your stomach. They did in mine, and as I constantly find new ways to fall more in love with my wife, those butterflies, they still flutter to this day. As you spent time with that person, that strong attraction of infatuation began to develop into a deeper experience of love. Falling in love is the easy part. Choosing to stay in love is the hard part. It requires work and commitment. Staying in love says – “I see you, all of you, the good, the bad, the ugly, I see all those things, and I still choose you.” Staying in love says – “I wholly love the imperfections and much as I love the good.”

My wife and I have what I think is a very good marriage. Is it perfect? Of course not. We are not perfect people. Can it improve? Sure it can. But over our five years of dating and now more than forty years of marriage, we have worked diligently to share life together, to carve out space for one another, even when the carving is hard. We are two flawed people, two vastly different people, committed to each other, continually in search of new ways to fall in love.

Think of your friendships. I am not talking about the five hundred friends you have on social media. I am talking about the friendships you have in which you really do life with one another. Those relationships do not happen by accident. They take commitment. They take spending time with each other, walking together over the splendor of the mountains and through darkness in the valleys. They require a choice to stay in love, a friendship kind of love.    

Staying in love with Jesus is no different. It is not happenstance. First and foremost, it requires giving Jesus complete rule and reign over your life. After that, it takes commitment to press in closer and closer, each and every day. And it also takes spending time with Jesus, meditating on scripture, praying, listening, pushing back against the ways of the world. The prophet Isaiah said this – “At night I long for you with my whole being; my spirit within me watches for you. When your judgments are at work in the earth, those living in the world learn righteousness” (Isaiah 26:9, CEB).

David, when he was in the wilderness in Judah fleeing from his son Absalom, wrote Psalm 63. This psalm reflects David’s never-ending longing for God, his desire to stay in love with God. It begins this way – “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands” (vv.1-4).

Staying in love with someone takes commitment, persistence, nurturing, compromise, conflict resolution, personal growth. But the rewards far outweigh the work required. What things might you need to change in order to experience genuine and lasting love? What investments are you making to fall in love, stay in love, and continually fall more in love, both with Jesus and those around you?

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Making Your Wish List

Making Your Wish List

This is the season when we make lists of gifts that we would like to receive. As a child, most of my wish list came from catalogs. I gave my parents an extensive Christmas wish list that included catalog page numbers, just so it was very clear exactly what I wanted. Yes, I vividly remember lying on the floor with my colorful marker and a stack of mail order catalogs. While my parents were generous in their gift giving, I never got everything on my list. These days, I find it easy to provide others with a link to the item on Amazon or some other website.

Did you know that in 1845, Tiffany’s was the first mail order catalog published in the United States? Other companies added catalog operations shortly thereafter and by the end of that century, both Sears Roebuck and Montgomery Ward also began issuing their own catalogs. This year my wife and I get catalog after catalog in our mailbox, both from companies we’ve ordered stuff from in the past and ones we have never even heard of.

Have you watched a kid sitting on Santa’s lap? When asked by Santa what they would like for Christmas, frequently their answers are very specific and rather lengthy. As adults we too make lists for those buying the gifts. Sometimes getting what we ask for while other times the gift-giver surprises us with something they picked out. Hopefully, either way, you are pleased with the gift.

Why is it that we are not shy about asking each other for specific things, but when it comes to asking God, we either don’t ask Him at all, or we are hesitant to ask for what we really want? We often lack boldness and expectancy when taking our petitions to God.

We read these words in 1 John 5:14-15, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And we know if he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” 

There is a lot packed into those two verses. Just as I did not get all the things on my childhood wish list, these two verses give a similar message; we do not get everything we ask God for, simply because we ask. It isn’t some golden ticket – ask Him for anything under the sun and shazam, we get it.

But what these verses do tell us is we can have confidence that God hears us. And “hearing” does not mean simply to be listened to, but to be heard favorably. This confidence of being heard is linked to the qualifying clause found right within the passage… “if we ask according to his will.” This lines up with how Jesus taught us to pray when He said, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be you name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:9-10).

What does all this mean? It is not just any prayer that is answered, but rather it is the confident prayer of a person who is in fellowship with the Father (1 John 1:3) who asks in Jesus’ name (John 14:13; 15:16), who remains attached to Jesus (John 15:7), and who obeys His commands (1 John 3:22). These kinds of prayers are not just a time of “asking” but of yielding our lives to the will and work of God.

Psalm 37:4, same message, different words – “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

So, in these weeks leading up to Christmas, take delight in the Lord and allow His will to work in you and through you. He knows what you need, even when it is not on your wish list. 

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Even as Your Ship Sinks

Even as Your Ship Sinks

One day after the attack on Pearl Harbor, President Franklin D. Roosevelt delivered his now famous “Day of Infamy” address to the joint session of Congress. The speech is known for the first words spoken by FDR: “Yesterday, December 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.” Roosevelt worded the speech to portray the United States as the innocent victim of an unprovoked attack.

Later that same day, Congress declared war on Japan. The resolution was almost unanimous – passing 82-0 in the Senate and 388-1 in the House. Jeannette Pickering Rankin, the first woman to hold federal office in the United States, was the sole member of Congress to vote against the resolution. Being a lifelong pacifist, she was also one of fifty House members who opposed declaring war on Germany in 1917. 

I am sure that you can think of a time when you were quietly tending to your business when suddenly, you found yourself under attack. If you cannot think of such a time, be prepared, attacks can come at any minute. And whether it is a surprise attack, or you see the bomber planes flying toward you in advance, when it happens, your well laid out plans change in an instant, your cherished comforts get tossed into the sea, smoke and fire clouds your vision, and your once-thought-to-be-unsinkable ship capsizes, taking on water. You walk around dazed and bloodied, confused about what to do next. Life might just never be the same.    

In those moments, do you wonder where God is? Do you have faith that God keeps His promises even when your current situation looks as if he is nowhere to be found, just as your ship is sinking?

In the Book of Acts, the apostle Paul and his mates where on a ship that they feared might sink, not from a surprise attack, but amid a violent storm. During the storm, an angel of the God told Paul not to be afraid of the pending danger. Here is what Paul said to the men when they feared the ship would sink with them on it – “But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed” (Acts 27:22).

A few verses later we read more of Paul’s words – “So keep courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me” (v.25).

The storm was violent and the ship hit a sandbar, ran aground, and broke apart. Some soldiers wanted to kill Paul and his men to keep them from swimming ashore, but the story ends like this – “He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and get to land. The rest were to get there on planks or on other pieces of the ship. In this way everyone reached land safely” (vv.43b-44).

I encourage you to read this story in its entirety, found in Acts 27:13-44.

So, today, just as on that infamous day in 1941, you might be under attack, facing some dire situation. But, know that God, the very same God who promised Joshua that he would never be absent (Deuteronomy. 31:1-8; Joshua 1:1-9), is right with you in the midst of the mess, and He offers you safety, comfort, and protection, even as your ship sinks. 

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So Subdued by Thirst

So Subdued by Thirst

You have the Christmas wish list of a family member in your pocket as you head to the shopping mall. You’ve never heard of the particular item circled in red on their list, but you assume it will be easily located and within your budget. You plan to only spend as much time navigating the mall madness as is needed. It’s simple… you’ll check out one or two stores, find the gift for the best price, grab a peppermint latte at the coffee shop, then head for the peace and quiet of home; a holiday Hallmark movie begins in two hours.

But soon you find out that your well laid out plan has changed as you go from store to store, only to be told either it is out of stock or they don’t carry it. You leave that mall and head to the one across town, only to be told the same thing. Frustrated, you stomp to the mall’s food court, find the only empty table, plop down in a huff, and check for the item online. Still no luck, then for a second you consider buying them something else, but no way, you are bound and determined to keep looking until you find this item no matter what it takes or what it costs.
 
Now let me ask you, how fervently do you pursue God? Do you regularly and actively pursue Him like your life depended upon it? Or do you just casually seek after Him, and if you happen to bump into Him great, if not, well, you will look some more tomorrow.
 
Unlike that elusive gift that you might never find, God promises us if we seek Him with all our heart that we will encounter Him. We read these words in Deuteronomy 4:29 – “But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” This relentless pursuit is a common theme throughout scripture; for three examples check out 1 Chronicles 22:19, Psalm 63:1, and Proverbs 8:17.
 
And another beautiful picture of what it looks like to pursue God with all your heart and soul is found in Psalm 42, verses 1 and 2. You might be familiar with these verses – “As the dear pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God. Where can I go and meet with God?”
 
The Hebrew word used here for “pant” implies a fervency of desire. The deer is absolutely in need of a drink, nothing is more important at that moment. If you have ever been near a deer you know how quickly they flee when you approach them. William McClure Thomson was an American missionary working in Ottoman Syria in the 1800s. In his book, The Land and the Book, Thomson says in regards to this fervent desire for water; “I have seen large flocks of these panting harts (male red deer, native to Syria) gather round the water-brooks in the great deserts of central Syria, so subdued by thirst that you could approach quite near them before they fled.”
 
So, I ask you, how thirsty are you? Is your soul panting for God? Are you gathered around the water-brook so subdued (overcome) by your thirst that nothing distracts you from drinking?

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How to Leap Tall Buildings

How to Leap Tall Buildings

The daily grind of life is full of challenges, many of which look like skyscrapers. Isn’t it true that some mornings you wake up full of energy and ready for the upcoming day while other days you wish you could pull the covers back up over your head and just lie in the safety and warmth of our bed? And some days you feel ready to leap tall buildings in a single bound while other days it is as if you’ve slammed into the side of the building.

As we go through this season of Advent, the weeks leading up to Christmas, we expectantly anticipate the coming of the Messiah. It is a season of great hope, of expectation, and of waiting for the presence of Immanuel, God with us. It is also a season of added stress. And for many, a season of loneliness and despair. With so much going on, often this season, while at times joyful, also feels and looks like much a 60-story building.  

I offer these five verses to you as encouragement, as hope, as expectation, that regardless of what comes your way today, you can be assured that God is with you, and He is able to help you go through, go around, or go over a tall building.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:30

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3

And how about a few verses inviting you to a place of rest.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

I sure do need these verses. How about you? Thank you, Jesus, for giving me rest and also strength to leap tall buildings!

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Filling the Empty Gift Box

Filling the Empty Gift Box

This time of year, in public spaces everywhere, you will likely find a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with neatly wrapped boxes underneath. There is one problem with many of those boxes. While they look pretty on the outside, they are simply empty boxes, wrapped in colorful paper, topped with ribbon and bows.

Oftentimes our lives are the same way – we look all pretty on the outside, but on the inside, an entirely different story. We are busy and productive, festive and smiling, saying and doing all the right things, but inside that beautifully decorated box, there is an emptiness, a darkness, a loneliness. Nothing more than wadded up tissue paper. Something is missing.     

The word Advent means “coming,” and it is during Advent, the season between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that we expectantly await the coming of the Messiah. In Isaiah 7:14, the prophet foretells that a virgin will give birth to a son and call him Immanuel. In Matthew’s telling of the birth of Jesus (1:18-25), we find – “’She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).

It is God dwelling with us that can turn emptiness into fullness, dullness into vibrancy, barren into lush. It is absolutely true that Jesus came to cleanse us of our sins and to restore our relationship with God, a relationship broken by sin. It is also just as true that in Jesus, God with us, your dry and parched soul can find refreshment (read John 4:1-26), and your emptiness can be filled. In John 10:10 we find these words of Jesus – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

It is important to note that “abundant” does not mean filled with all your wants and desires. Rather, it means an abounding fullness of joy, a peace knowing that God is with you, meeting your every need. An abundant life comes from following in God’s ways; being obedient and living in accordance with His will.

So, this Christmas Season, this Advent Season, make it a priority to purposefully and expectantly await the coming of the One who fill your empty gift box: Immanuel, God with us!

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