You have likely heard the saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I disagree with that saying. I believe that the bruises caused by sticks and stones heal much quicker than the deep wounds often caused by name calling. I was made fun of as a young child and into my teen years for my speech impediment and to this day those wounds still rear their ugly head from time to time. My many broken bones and bruises, cuts and scrapes, are all long healed, long forgotten, but the name calling, it still hangs around. Just being honest.

The harmful words that come out of our mouths are sometimes well calculated, fully intended to cause hurt, other times, they just come out in the heat of the moment. And sometimes it is not so much what is said, but rather how it is said that causes hurt.

Sadly, divisive, offensive, and harmful language runs rampant in our culture. We use dehumanizing language (illegals, criminals, aliens, insane) to somehow reduce people to less than human, coded language (trailer park, inner city, diva) to convey negative bias to otherwise neutral terms, and labels (lazy, fat, stupid, gay) which often impact that person’s self-identity and can become ingrained in their psyche.

Words spoken to someone can also bring great encouragement and hope to them. My college football coach, while often critical of on and off the field actions, never once spoke harmful words. His criticism of what we did or did not do motivated us to become better.

When I sat for an interview for acceptance into Vineyard’s ministry school, as I was bumbling my way through telling the director my life’s journey, at some point he stopped me, and said these very words – “Dave, there is something in you that I just love, and even though you don’t believe in yourself, I do.” The trajectory of my life changed in that very moment, and over two decades later those words still sit sweetly in my soul.

When I regularly preached, on the drive home, I would ask my wife for feedback. Regardless of the critique, her words were always honest, shared out of love. They were helpful not harmful. That is why I always asked her.

There are times when things need said that are difficult for the listener to hear. We cannot be afraid to say what needs said, but hard words do not need to be harsh words. Hard words tend to hurt in a helpful way whereas harsh words, they hurt in a harmful.    

The Bible speaks frequently about guarding what comes out of our mouths. Let me share four verses –

 Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) – “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Swords inflict deep wounds.

Ephesians 4:29 (GNT) – “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.” Are you a builder-upper or a tearer-downer?

Colossians 4:6 (ESV) – “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Salt has six functions in food: preservative, flavor, texture, and color enhancer, binding agent, source of nutrients.

Proverbs 16:24 (ESV) – “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Is there anything sweeter than honey?

So, is what you speak to others seasoned with salt, preserving, enhancing, and helping? Sweeter than honey? Or do your words cause harmful and deep wounds that pierce like a sharp sword? 

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Have you ever drawn water out of a well using a bucket? If so, then you know that what is deep down in the well comes up in the bucket, both water and sediment, both clean and dirty. It is also true that what is deep within us also makes it way out. What is in our heart comes out in our actions and words, acting as our guide.   

While the heart might just be the most important organ in our body, in competition with our brain, it is likely also the most misunderstood. You’ve heard, probably even said, “Follow your heart.” There is some truth in that, doing what you love to do and charting your own course, not simply following some predetermined course laid out for you by someone else.

But a word of caution – the Bible gives us a very different viewpoint than just follow your warm and cuddly heart. In Jeremiah 17:9 we read “The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable – who can understand it?” Deceitful literally means “perversion of the truth.” Ouch, that hurts. Sure sounds different than follow your heart.

Jesus, in rebuking the Pharisees (the moral police of their day) after they asked about eating with dirty hands, said that it isn’t what goes in your mouth that makes you dirty, but rather what comes out; and what comes out comes from the heart. (Read Matthew 15:1-20 for the entire interaction.) Again, sure doesn’t sound like follow your heart.

So, is there any hope?

Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, and the wisest man to ever live (1 Kings 3:11-15) says this in Proverbs 4:23- “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Literally, watch over your heart with vigilance. How? By being careful about what you do, what you say, who you hang out with, what you watch and read, on and on. But if your heart, and my heart, are in fact incurable, then how do we guard our hearts? It comes from the power of God’s Spirit living in you, and in me. It comes from a desperate cry to God for help!

David, after being confronted by the prophet Nathan about his adulteress affair with Bathsheba and conspiring to have her husband killed as a coverup, said this in Psalm 51:10 – “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit in me.”

This should be our prayer every day, not just when we wake up, but all throughout the day as we get ready to face every situation that presents itself to us. You might be saying that you have the power to do it yourself. Well, let’s look at the Hebrew word used in this context for “create.”

Remember, your heart is incurable… incurable outside the power of God.

David knew that. “Create in me a pure (clean) heart.” The Hebrew word used here is bara’. It means to create, shape, or form. You say that makes sense; I can do that. I can bara’ my own clean heart. Not so fast.

This word bara’ is found throughout the Old Testament. In every single case, God is the subject; meaning He is the one doing the creating. We see that same word in Gen 1:1 – “In the beginning, God created (bara’) the heavens and earth. In v.27 we are told that “God created (bara’) man in his own image; he (bara’) him in the image of God; he (bara’) them male and female.” This kind of creating is a divine creating; meaning it is God who initiates a clean heart in us. He initiates. We then work on it.

So, today and tomorrow, and every day after that, will you make this your desperate plea – Oh God, help me guard my heart, and please, by only what only you can do, create (bara’) in me a clean heart, a pure heart, making my spirit right!

What is in your well?

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We have all heard the phrase “He or she knows the big picture.” When we say that about someone, we mean that they grasp the general, overall, or long-term scheme of something rather than just what is right in front of them. On the flipside if someone doesn’t understand the big picture, it means that they do not understand the entire situation or issue. There are times in all of our lives in which we only know certain pieces of the puzzle, and therefore things do not always make sense to us. We cannot see beyond the limits of our understanding.

Often the big overarching question is, why does God allow this or that to happen (or not happen)? To us, sometimes it just does not make sense since we do not know the big picture. While our understanding is limited and imperfect, God’s understanding is limitless and always perfect! Think walking on the ground and trying to view miles and miles of coastline versus seeing that same coastline from the air.

Six years ago, my wife and I took a helicopter ride while at a church conference in Myrtle Beach. Being up in the air gave us a big picture view of the region. From that height we could see large, wooded areas, entire developments, and miles and miles of the sandy coastline. All things we could not easily see or comprehend from the ground. 

We have a God who created the universe and everything in it. Colossians 1:16 tells us this, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”  

And not only did God create it all, but He also knows the big picture, He has a plan in mind. We read these words in Isaiah 46:10, “I declare the end from the beginning, and from long ago what is not yet done, saying: my plan will take place, and I will do all my will” (HCSB).

God is not confined to our timetable nor is He limited in His understanding. He is never early, never late, and maybe what bugs us the most, He is never in a hurry, even when “hurry” is what we want. Most certainly there are times when we wish things would move quicker, especially those things causing us great difficulty… but we find these words in Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Following this verse, in vv.2-8, fourteen opposites are juxtaposed; examples of how life is comprised of varying seasons. And v.11 ends like this, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”   

And for those of us who “need to have every detail planned out,” the truth is, God has ultimate authority over time. Here is what Jesus said to his disciples right before being taken up into Heaven regarding when the kingdom would be restored – “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority” (Acts 1:7).

So, with all that in mind, today I ask – can you, will you, trust that God knows the big picture and is in control, even when what you see looks out of control and doesn’t make sense? And I think we can all agree, not much makes sense these days.  

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Trusting someone enough to do hard or seemingly unachievable things takes real faith. It really does. Saying yes when yes makes no sense is not easy. It really isn’t.

My college football coach convinced his teams to work harder than they wanted to work. He saw the potential and didn’t want it to go to waste. At the point in preseason summer camp when every guy was sore and tired, questioning why we were doing this, and the heat and humidity were unbearable, Coach would invariably say, “Anybody can be at the beach, only special people can be here.” Despite mumbling under our breath, “Okay, Coach, whatever,” we bought into the hard work because we knew the rewards far outweighed the blood and sweat. We trusted the coaching staff implicitly. We had faith in them. During those four years we won almost 75% of our games and played for a state championship as well as qualifying for the national playoffs.

I know a pastor who regularly preached without notes. That method is not the norm. Most pastors spend lots of time researching, prepping, writing, revising. Some might call this pastor unprepared since he did very little of that. He would simply get up and read whatever scripture passage he picked for that day and then begin to expound upon it. I am told that his wife was nervous each time he preached. But this pastor seemed completely comfortable with his style. This pastor always asked the Holy Spirit to guide him in his preaching, and because the Spirit had been faithful in doing so time and time again, there was a complete trust that the words would come.

The Lord is faithful to those who trust in Him, even when it makes no sense. When we say, “Direct me, Lord,” and we truly mean it, He is faithful in doing so. I see this occurring in several ways. Sometimes Jesus says to us, “Come, follow me,” as He did when calling the first disciples (Matthew 18-21). Other times, we are simply told to “Go,” as was Abram (later Abraham) – The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people, and your father’s household to the land I will show you” (Genesis 12:1).

There are also those moments when God wants us to take the first step and trust that He is standing right behind us, saying, “I will be right here behind you.” When Judah (one of the twelve tribes of Israel) turned away from God and began looking to powerful Egypt for their deliverance, God rebuked them. God also then promised that if they turned back to Him, He would restore them and bless them with His guidance. Here are the words of the prophet Isaiah – Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” (30:21).

You might be familiar with the story of Peter walking on water (Matthew 14:22-33). While in a boat on the lake, amid a dangerous nighttime thunderstorm, the disciples freaked out when they saw what appeared to be a ghost coming toward them on the water. It was actually Jesus – “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” With that, the impetuous Peter replied, “Lord if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.” The story tells us that after hearing “Come,” Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water. When his eyes were looking at Jesus, he walked on the water’s surface. But when he began to have doubt, he started to sink. Jesus reached out his hand to catch Peter. I believe it was Peter’s littleness of faith that endangered his life, not the violent winds or raging sea.

When God calls us to do something, even something as crazy sounding as walking on water, my question is this – Will we, do we, say yes? When He says “Come” or “Go,” will we, do we, say yes? A faith not tested is a faith not trusted.

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Have you ever witnessed a thunderstorm over the ocean? We enjoy spending time at the beach. And when we go for any extended period of time, we stay in an oceanfront hotel. When at the beach we hope for sunny days to relax in the sun, sand, and surf. But also, there is something fascinating about seeing lightning out over the water as the wind blows across the ocean and the ominous clouds pelt the sand and sea with rain, especially those storms that occur at night.

Experiencing a thunderstorm from the safety of a hotel balcony is one thing, but to be out in the water during that storm, not the place you want to be. It would be very dangerous, maybe even life threatening. The waves would be rough, the winds fierce, the skies dark, the rain heavy, the saltwater stinking your eyes.

Maybe right now you find yourself in the midst of a storm. It could be you are facing a serious health issue. Your finances are a disaster. Your marriage is on the rocks. You have aging parents that need constant looking after. The constant rhetoric surrounding the upcoming presidential election. All things that as you look out over them, cause the seas to look stormy. You are fearful that the storm is (or could be) too big for you to handle alone. You feel as if the water is rising quickly and it will soon be over your head. The good news is that you are not alone!     

Amidst that storm I want to offer a bit of hope. Scripture tells us that regardless of whether the storm you are facing was forecasted or it came as a total surprise, one thing remains – Jesus is with you and is your anchor in the storm. Jesus calls us to have faith in Him, to put our complete trust in Him. He is able to keep you steadfast despite the turbulence of the storm, He is your mooring in the changing tides of life. 

Hebrews 6:19-20 declares this promise – “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”

Those verses say two things. First, like an anchor holds a ship from drifting away, our hope found in Jesus keeps us safe. He is a steadying anchor in the whole of life.

And second, the inner sanctuary language takes us back to the tabernacle in the Old Testament, where a curtain separated the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place; that very place where God resided. But the people were not allowed to enter it. Only the high priest was allowed to enter once a year (On Yom Yippur, the Day of Atonement) on behalf of the people. On that day, he burned incense and sprinkled sacrificial animal blood to atone for (theological word is expiate) for his own sins and those of the people of Israel. When Jesus died on the cross that curtain was torn in two (see Matthew 27:50-51) giving us personal access to God, no longer needing someone to enter on our behalf.

So, today if you have not yet put your trust in Jesus, pray and ask Him into your heart and accept all that He has for you. If you are already a follower of Jesus but find it hard to calm your inner soul, then right now pray and ask Jesus for a peace that passes all understanding, a peace that is stronger than the storm, a peace anchored in Him.

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A number of years ago we had an inground swimming pool at the house we lived in at the time. One summer the vinyl liner began to leak due to a small pin-sized hole. At first, the leak was small and undetectable. Soon we were losing enough water that we knew there was a leak. We put a patch over the hole and for a number of months the leak was minimal. Slowly the hole in the liner grew bigger and bigger until eventually the pool lost almost all of its 28,000 gallons of water. The following spring, we had to replace the entire liner. What started as a small hole slowly grew to become a bigger hole, and finally, a hole too big to fix.

That pool liner leak often describes our lives. We begin to neglect “little” things (behaviors, attitudes, habits, etc.), or we find ourselves in “little” sins, and over time if we do not make changes to those attitudes or actions, they become “big” things, and we wonder what happened.

What I am referring to can be called “drift.” It is that slow migration from good into not so good, little by little, often without really noticing, until the pin-sized leak becomes a gaping hole. We drift in many areas of our lives, and we rarely, if ever, drift in a positive way. We naturally drift away from everything holy and everything wholesome. Think about your health, relationships, thoughts, desires, finances – without intentional and committed effort they tend to simply drift, a slow erosion, into something less than what they could be. And how about your relationship with God? That, too, drifts in a negative direction unless you purposely strive to become more like Him.

We need to be checking in with each other and checking on each other. Why? The drift starts in our heart. And nobody knows, unless somebody has access to us. The Bible gives us the prescription to avoid drift. Here is what we read in Hebrews 3:12-13 – “Watch out, brothers and sisters, so that none of you have an evil, unfaithful heart that abandons the living God.Instead, encourage each other every day, as long as it’s called “today,” so that none of you become insensitive to God because of sin’s deception” (CEV).

As Jesus-followers, we are called to encourage and build one another up. We find these words from the apostle Paul – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). What if people from all walks of life, from all belief systems, did this? What if we focused on building others up and not tearing each other down? Imagine the positive impact it would have in this polarized environment in which we live.

The Greek verb (parakaleó) in both verses for encourage is not just rah, rah, rah; it means exhort, plead, urge, appeal to. And the word daily literally means day after day after day. It’s an ongoing thing. It’s a relational thing. Jesus used the related Greek noun paraklétos for the Holy Spirit, one who is called alongside to help (John 14:16, 26). Both the noun and verb come from the same two root words: para (beside) and kaleó (call, invite).

In modern day language, we have the word para-medic, whichis someone who comes alongside us to help, having our best interests in mind. Again here, para comes from the Greek for beside, along side of.

So, I ask you today, are you flying solo, or do you have others who can see your pin-sized hole before it becomes so big that your liner must be replaced?

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